Friday, September 7, 2012

Ty...

"I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. But still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend." -- Red, Shawshank Redemption

To my beloved Ty:  We let you go, when we knew, without a doubt, you could not recover from the disease you fought so hard to overcome.  I was so unsure, so afraid to make the wrong choice, but the blood work was conclusive...you were completely unresponsive to treatment, and we had done all we could do.  You knew I wouldn't be able to let you go, if there was an unturned stone, or an unanswered question.  You removed all doubt.


I never lost hope, I never stopped fighting for you, always telling you that I would fight until you said "no more", and today you did.

My heart is shattered into a million pieces.  I do not know how to walk into my house, knowing you are not here.  I'm trying so hard to remember what your voice sounds like, how you feel, the way you look, with eyes so full of love.  How do I go on without that?  I guess I just figure it out, because no other way would honor your memory in the way it should be honored.

I shared your story, not for me, but for you.  I wanted people to know you, to feel you, and to understand that you were larger than life.  I wanted them to feel your love, and the love I had for you.  I hope I was successful, for you deserved nothing less.

You simply could not be contained in your mortal body any longer, but I will look for your spirit, in every thing I do.  In every choice I make, I will remember you.

You gave me a poem, through a friend, and I will read it, every day, because it's from you.  These are words I know you would say to me now, if you were still here, and had a voice with which to convey them to me...

I see your heart,
and I show you mine.

Mine is whole, wise, in need of nothing
,
yours is growing, learning, breaking.

Take what you need from my heart,

for I came to give it all to you.

I did everything I knew how to do to save you, my beautiful boy.  I know that you know that.  If love could have healed you, you would be at my side now.  I love you so...I always will, and I can only say "thank you", because of you, my life was fuller, richer...'larger'.  Fly with those who have gone before you.  Show them how to live with love, always, because it's what you did best.

Good night, my love...


16 comments:

  1. An absolutely beautiful tribute. I love you so very much and I love Ty so very, very much! Thank you for these beautiful words...

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  2. With tears in my eyes, my throat hurting from trying to contain my emotion as i read your post, i send love, and hugs, and peace, and strength and prayers to you Leslie. This unfolding story has been part of my everyday life since you began telling us all Ty's journey. I feel as if I have lost him too, its become as if hes been a part of the many you have shared his story with. I know you know time heals all wounds, but yes, it will take time, maybe more for you than others. Thank you for me one of the many that you shared your beloved Ty with.
    God Bless you.
    nancy

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  3. Deeply sorry for your loss.

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  4. I honestly can not find the words to express how this has touched my heart. Know that you succeeded in your tribute to Ty and your right, he deserved nothing less, but you my friends, both you Leslie, and Cliff deserved nothing less than Ty.

    Love,
    Sharon

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  5. :( I've been in your place. I hate that place.. time helps... that's is all I can say. xoxo Leslie.

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  6. I've been in this place. I hate that place.. No words can make you feel better, but time does help... I pray it does for you. I'm not sure what else can be said. Bless you :(

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  7. I'm so sorry for your loss. The words don't seem enough for a love so great.

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  8. I am so, so sorry Leslie and Cliff! This is so heartbreaking, rest in peace sweet Ty!

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  9. I'm so very sorry for your loss I was in your place last August with my Ty never gets easy.

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  10. Sorry for your loss may fond memories fill your hearts and bring you peace.

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  11. What a beautiful tribute... I was just in your place and its heartbreaking.
    We fought so hard to save you Roxy, hugs sent your way............

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  12. So Sorry Leslie & Cliff, I also have been there and no words at this moment will take the ache away, but time will help. I still remember my first Sheltie Missy and several others. LIke Shannaless says been there and stil l hate it.
    Barbara

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  13. I am so, so sorry....love this tribute. It made me think of "Poppet", and how so many came to love her brief life with us. It does help to share our life with others...we all need each other!
    Tammy Alden

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  14. I am so very sorry for your loss. I do not know you personally but had been following your journal . I too have shelties, and one of mine is in the final stages of cancer. I could so relate our journey with yours and Ty's. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Tears are streaming down my face now knowing that your heart is broken as mine will be in a short period of time.
    Thank you for sharing your beautiful Ty with all of us. You were so lucky to have that little prince in your life, as he was so lucky to have you to watch over him. He will always be in your heart and forever in your dreams.
    Sincerely,
    Mary

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  15. I cannot reply individually, as it is just too hard, but please know that your words help, and I'm grateful.

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  16. It is my great hope that as time goes on and the knife sharp pain of grief from your immeasurable loss fades, you will be left with a great comfort that you did everything that you could for this incredible dog in his time of need. It cannot have been easy to make some of the choices you made, not knowing if they would help, hinder, or simply be ineffectual. I think you were all very brave and very loving, and that Ty was an AWESOME hero throughout this entire journey. Through your sharing and caring, I have come to love Ty, and respect you, both of whom I have never met :) ~ Big heart tears ~ Julia

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