Thursday, September 27, 2012

For the love of Bun, September 27, 2012

I found this photo of you today, Bun.  It made me smile.  You were the essence of love and life, and this photo really seems to show those two things.

It goes without saying that I miss you more than any collection of words could convey.  I think I will always miss you.  I don't expect that to ever go away.  As I think of you, and reflect on what you mean to me, I see just how much I needed you: to learn, to grow and to understand things I never understood before.  Understanding is a funny thing, I have learned.  It's no longer something I just acknowledge as a passing thought, or a glance over my shoulder, so to speak, it's become a part of who I am, through thoughtful application of a knowing that washes over me, and finds a place to settle, to become part of my landscape.

I'm embarrassed to admit I needed you, to have you, to love you and to lose you, to come to this place.

There is just nothing that matters more than love and understanding.  There is nothing that matters more than showing myself, through that love and understanding, to magnify joy beyond where I stand.

I thank you for that...I'm sorry it took me your whole life, and your death, to figure that out.  I wish I'd figured it out so much earlier, if for no other reason than to 'walk' that kind of understanding with you.

I love you, Bun.  Your light will shine here forever...


  1. Great picture! Soaking wet from playing in the pool and ready for your interaction. I miss him so much, too.

  2. Dear one, if you should ever be embarrassed, it might be that with such an opportunity, that you did not take full advantage of it. No single thing in life that we acquire comes as an integrated whole ~ it is the combination and the accumulation of them all. What an incredible thing you have taken away with you from this utterly awesome relationship with Ty. Unfortunately, death is part of the whole ~ but you got the accumulated gift ~ and it lives in your heart forever... (and, incidentally, believe it or not, the more you can put language to that gift, the greater, and deeper you will feel it, and be able to integrate it into your life as a tangible way of being) ~ I am very proud of you ~ and hope you will come to recognize that it is no small achievement. Bless you both!!