It's been an up and down few weeks, filled with things I welcome, and things I dread.
My beloved Jet, my first Sheltie, and the four legged love of my life, has been experiencing a few health issues. Without going into a great deal of detail, I can say that his age has slowly been catching up with him. Always a very young looking older dog, he is now looking like an older old dog. At 14, I'm realistic and understand that he won't be here with me forever, but the thought of losing him is extremely difficult to bear. I'm not sure I know how to breathe without this dog, and while that may sound like a dramatic proclamation, in many ways, it's how I feel.
For now, he's here. He's comfortable, and he isn't experiencing any pain. He's a little wobbly, and can't hop up on the deck like he could not long ago. It's hard to watch him age before my eyes. It's hard to look into those brown eyes that are wise and full of understanding, knowing I can't change the course he and I will travel. There are times I think he seeks my gaze to connect with me, and tell me it's okay, that somehow he knows more about what's coming than I do. And, knowing him as I do, I'm sure that's true.
People say dogs come into our lives to teach us things. I believe that. Ty did. I know Jet has, as well. My heart knows what Jet came to teach me. For now, I will keep that knowledge to myself. Unlike Ty, who came to change me in ways that affected others, Jet came for something more personal...
There will never be a good time to say good-bye to my furry true love. I keep saying "not now", and even if he lived to 20, it would never be enough. I just hope we have more time together, to ease into the changes I know are coming. To somehow prepare for something there is really no way to prepare for.